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April 17, 1997

Thursday, April 17, 1997

Dear Diary,

We’re moving. I don’t know if that has to do with the way I feel but one minute I can’t stop laughing and the next I have to restrain myself from bawling.

Malin came over yesterday and we had a good, long talk. She’s living up in Bellingham now and I can’t wait to spend time with her there next year. I got into Western last week and I’m sure I’ll be going there. I’ve got time on my hands lately but it all goes fast and I haven’t done homework in ages. I don’t know what I’d do without Emma. Or Nina.

Tucker and I got together on Monday. He puts a smile on my face. All day at school on Tuesday everyone was asking why I’m so smiley. But that turned out to be a rough day.

I went to the soccer game (guys vs. St. Vincent) and I saw Aidan (I’ll get into that later). Emma, Jordan, and I got coffee and met Frieda and Margo at Allegro. We went to Aidan’s and Vic’s. Frieda dropped Margo and me off at the bridge later and we talked for hours.

I went to see Tucker last night. He’s in Utah now but he’ll be back tomorrow and we’ll kick it at Colin’s. I went running yesterday and Tuesday. It’s good for me and I need to make it a habit.

Aidan is causing me stress. He got home on Friday and we all kicked it at Magnuson. I was so happy for him to be home. I went to Skykomish with Drew to meet everyone on Saturday night and Aidan and I got together. I’m sick to my stomach about it because of Tucker and Margo. I couldn’t get to know Aidan again because this happened. I don’t want to look at him now and things won’t be the same.

Austin Bergman asked me to prom today so I guess I’m going. I need to cry. I need to laugh for a couple days and then sleep for a week. I’m a wreck and today Nina said, “I hate to see you like this because you never get like this.” I haven’t lost hope and I don’t think I will but there’s a deep sadness in me. I can’t stop listening to Fiona Apple. I didn’t write a quarter of what’s going on with me but this helps. I leave for Colorado on Wednesday.

Love, Meghan

Minor: Volume One - The Journals of Meghan McDonnell

Novice: Volume Two - The Journals of Meghan McDonnell

Limbo: Volume Three - The Journals of Meghan McDonnell